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Relationship-smart women | reconnecting in intimacy

Relationship-smart women want to learn how to transform their intimate relationships. We feel frustrated, disconnected and lack-lustre, but we are done with blaming our partners. We are ready to do our bit to make things better so that we feel more connected, more alive and more truly ourselves. With relationship coach Nicole Mathieson www.nicolemathieson.com
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Relationship-smart women | reconnecting in intimacy
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Now displaying: Page 1
May 16, 2022

Why is a relationship coach / therapist writing a book about body image I hear you ask?
That's because the Beauty Load, body image, how we feel about ourselves and our confidence with fitting in in the world, are all relationship issues. I don't know about you but my body was front and centre as I stepped into relationship and sexual intimacy as a young adult.
Listen in as I share how my book The Beauty Load is a relationship book in so many ways.
Grab your copy of the book at nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload
Follow me on Instagram @nicole.mathieson
Take care
Nicole

May 11, 2022

Sometimes we feel wrong for feeling the Beauty Load, especially when our males partner's or friends just don't get it. But the stress and concern of the Beauty Load is real and in this episode I share an example that demonstrates how differently the Load is experienced, generally speaking, by women and men.

Buy the book The Beauty Load www.nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload

follow me on instagram @nicole.mathieson

Apr 21, 2022

In this special Beauty Load episode of the podcast, I am reading the first chapter (the introduction) of my new book The Beauty Load, how to feel enough in a world obsessed with beauty. 
The message of my book is basically that you feeling not "enough" about your looks is not personal, it is not about you and your looks but instead it is inevitable if you have grown up in a culture with such toxic messaging and an obsession with beauty. 

To buy the book, go to nicolemathieson.com/thebeautyload/

or pop over to Amazon, Booktopia or The Book depository. 

Mar 14, 2022

There is a lot going on in the world at the moment that can leave us feeling a bit or a lot traumatised. I am inspired to share this "what not to do" episode, because of what I see happening around me, and that is people who have been through a lot, not allowing themselves the space and nurture they need, because there are others struggling more than them. We compare and we think "I should not be worried!" but this just keeps us stuck.

nicolemathieson.com

@nicole.mathieson

Feb 25, 2022

If there is one thing the Beauty Load pressure leaves us women with, it is a sense of shame. We are shamed on so many fronts on all aspects of our body and appearance.
In this episode I explore the shame, grandiosity loop and how we can get out of it to create a new culture, at least for ourselves.

The Beauty Load book out April 2022

Instagram: @nicole.mathieson

Jan 16, 2022

There are a lot of books out there about loving our body and the issues that come with it, so why have I written another book about it?
In this episode I share with you my motivations for writing this book:

-from my own struggles with feeling enough
-to the impact the Beauty Load has on my clients and friends
-seeing women in Cuba who didn't seem to be struggling in the same way
-my fear for my own children
-and our need to unpack this patriarchal, consumerist craziness

For more nicolemathieson.com
@nicole.mathieson

Oct 11, 2021

How do you manage stress in your relationship?

How does it feel when your partner is stressed? How do you respond? How do they respond to you?
Stress can be a really disconnecting force in a relationship if it goes unmanaged.

In this episode I share with you, how I dealt with my husband's stress really badly and how I repaired on that occassion. I also share with you why dealing with stress is so important and I go through the Gottman "stress reducing conversation" pointers.

Jul 1, 2021

In this episode, I speak to Emily, who with her partner Sean, created Yum cards for couples. We talk about how these cards help couples reconnect and why reconnecting feels so darn yum! You can check out the cards here playyum.com

For more go to nicolemathieson.com @nicole_mathieson_coach

Jun 21, 2021

You are not going to get rid of your suffering and that's okay.
We do not need to be wrapped in cotton wool and protected from all the harshness to be okay, which is great, because it would probably be pretty isolating there. We are going to suffer, the trick is to not panic about it. Not to panic about the fear, the anxiety, the sadness, the pain, but to recognise all of these feelings as understandable responses to what is going on for you in the world. 

For more about Nicole go to:

www.nicolemathieson.com

or on Instagram @nicole_mathieson_coach

May 10, 2021

How does the way you look or feel in your body influence your desire? 

Research shows that us women, in general, need to feel ourselves sexy in order to feel desire. We need to feel sexy in our bodies, our minds, our energies and our imaginations first before we can share ourselves.

Does that resonate with you?

Come with me on this podcast journey while I explore this a little.

Find out more about my coaching / counselling and resources at nicolemathieson.com or follow me @nicole_mathieson_coach

 

Mar 12, 2021

We want certainty in our relationships. We say..."I'll be happy when there is a ring on my finger or we buy that house or we have kids or whatever"

Which makes sense, we are human and certainty feels secure. But the cementing in (the grasping for certainty) is also the very thing creating the stuckness that leads us to resentment and eventually a desire to possibly even leave.

We deserve relationship that feel fluid and free and like we choose to be there.

In this episode I explore with you how to un-cement and create fluidity in our relationships.

follow Nicole on Instagram @nicole_mathieson_coach

Dec 11, 2020

Break ups can be devastating. They are without a doubt big events in our lives. Which is why we need Mackenzie, a break-up specialist.

Mackenzie and I chat about the sometimes rough and tumultuous phase break-ups. She herself has navigated 2 very different break-ups; one toxic and one conscious and shares her wisdom with us.

We chat about:
-her break-up stories and how she navigated them
-how to recognise a narcissist
-the places people get stuck in the break-up process
-the anchor points to help you through to the wisdom and growth on the other side of the pain. 

You can follow Mackenzie here:

Website:  www.kenzieeason.com 
 
For more go to www.nicolemathieson.com

 

Oct 12, 2020

So much happens to your relationship and your sex life after you have kids. Everything changes. Your roles, your sex life, how you spend your time, how you see each other and that's not to mention your expectations of each other. It is big!

How do you as a couple, cope with all this change and stress?

It can be super hard. 

Catherine Topham Sly from Insight and Connection in the UK chat about this major relationship challenge in this episode.

You can find Catherine on Insta & FB @insightandconnection or on her website www.insightconnection.uk

For more about me, Nicole go to www.nicolemathieson.com or find me @nicole_mathieson_coach

Sep 11, 2020

This episode comes back to the basics of how to get grounded and centred and calm ourselves down, because you know.....life. It is super important, especially in our relationships.

What is in your calm-down toolkit?

Connect with me via Instagram - www.instagram.com/nicole_mathieson_coach/

or drop me an email - hi@nicolemathieson.com

 

 

Jul 24, 2020

Following on from Self regulation part 1, this episode explores the "how" of self regulation.

How do you calm and soothe yourself so that you can be more of a rocking partner in your intimate relationships? Listen in to find out.

Drop me an email hi@nicolemathieson.com or find out more at www.nicolemathieson.com

Jul 23, 2020

Self regulation is sexy.

Learning to calm and soothe yourself in your relationship is a skill that will help bring all the things to your relationship life that you want more of.

In this episode I talk about the consequences of not having the capacity to self regulate. Then in the next episode, part 2, I share the "how".

To get in touch, drop me an email hi@nicolemathieson.com 

Apr 21, 2020

In this episode my colleague Ebony from Little Window counselling comes and interviews me.
Ebony asks me lots of questions about how to manage our relationships in these strange times of Covid19 and lockdown.
We talk about:
-The types of problems that people are having in their relationships
-How to get time to connect
-What to do if you don't feel safe
-How to navigate this time if you are dating
-My top 3 tips for your relationship in lockdown,

For more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com
or to book an appoitnemnt go to
www.littlewindow.com.au

Mar 27, 2020

Managing anxiety part 2 - Connecting deeper within
How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on?
There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has become more important than ever to skill-up and find ways to soothe our own anxiety.
Let's grab this time as an opportunity to get the skills we need to manage our anxiety.
In part one we look at mindfulness and in part two we look at anchoring in to a deeper part of ourselves.
For more go to www.nicolemathieson.com

Mar 27, 2020

Managing anxiety part 1 - Mindfulness.
How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on?
There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has become more important than ever to skill upand find ways to soothe our own anxiety.
Let's grab this time as an opportunity to get the skills we need to manage our anxiety.
In part one we look at mindfulness and in part two we look at anchoring in to a deeper part of ourselves.

To learn more go to www.nicolemathieson.com

Feb 11, 2020

The mental load is a thing and it can cause disconnection in your most important and intimate relationships.
Just this last week, I have personally been struggling with the mental load; feeling resentful, tired and cranky.
I wanted to share how I dealt with the load and what strategies I have put in place to minimise the future build up of resentment.
For more help with the load, check out my online workshop "Release resentment"
www.nicolemathieson.com/shop

Nov 29, 2019

Communication with my husband about anything that mattered used to make me want to run in the other direction.

I would try to say stuff, but I would always say it in all the wrong ways and we would just end up:

  • getting defensive and critical of each other 
  • feeling hurt & misunderstood
  • saying things we wish we hadn't
  • and needing some space to calm down

The good news is, that you can learn skills and concepts that will help your communication and I will teach it all at my online wokshop. Get your ticket www.nicolemathieson.com/communicate

 

Oct 25, 2019

Katie Dean is a woman who gives us permission to be ourselves;
human. imperfect and messy.
Listen as we chat about;

  • The pressure we put on ourselves
  • Katie's journey with breast implants
  • How to embrace life's messiness

You can find out more about Katie and grab her new book Messy over at www.ktdean.com.au
or on her favourite platform, Instagram @ktdean.com.au

Sep 30, 2019

I am back talking to my dear friend and kundalini yoga teacher Sirgun Lindsay German.

Today we are talking about aging gracefully.

What happens to us as women when we are no longer pretty young things? What is our value as an older woman?

How do we handle aging, menopause and growing older with grace?

 

Sep 20, 2019

A letter to your husband with the reason we are not being intimate aka: having (much) sex.

 

Hello honey,

I just wanted to write and let you know a few things that I have been pondering about our sex life.

Firstly, I just wanted to acknowledge you. I know that our sex life  is a frustrating area of our relationship for you. I acknowledge that for you, in an ideal world, we would be having sex lots more often. You try really hard to get it right for me, for us and I appreciate it.

I feel for you, I get why you are frustrated and confused and I would love to share more intimate moments with you, which is why we need this chat.

I would love to share with you the reason we are not having much sex.

Do you know why I don’t feel like sex a lot of the time?

I am sure you have pondered this question a lot. Perhaps you have put it down to a variety of conditions such as;

  • Whether you are wearing your lucky undies or not
  • The exact steps and in what order you take in your sexual advances
  • The words you say or whisper into my ear
  • Whether you have done the dishes or not

And sure, all of the above have some input.

I truly hope that you do not put it down to something like me not being attracted to you. I know it can seem like that at times, and to be honest sometimes my head tells me that is the case, but it is not the truth.

The truth of why I sometimes don’t want sex is....

Read on here; nicolemathieson.com/why-we-arent-being-intimate/

Aug 26, 2019

Does he even care about me?  When I ask for more, then he pulls away from me.

As far as the dance of intimacy goes, this is a common relational pattern.

It goes something like this;

You feel like you need more from your partner. More reassurance, care, love & affection and you need this to be okay.

In fact, your need has become a kind of anxiety.

You want him to scoop you up in your arms and reassure you of his love. 

But when you ask for this, he just pulls further away from you. 

Do you know this dance?

For more: http://nicolemathieson.com/he-pulls-away

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