Relationship-smart women | reconnecting in intimacy

Relationship-smart women want to learn how to transform their intimate relationships. We feel frustrated, disconnected and lack-lustre, but we are done with blaming our partners. We are ready to do our bit to make things better so that we feel more connected, more alive and more truly ourselves. With relationship coach Nicole Mathieson
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Relationship-smart women | reconnecting in intimacy





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Oct 11, 2021

How do you manage stress in your relationship?

How does it feel when your partner is stressed? How do you respond? How do they respond to you?
Stress can be a really disconnecting force in a relationship if it goes unmanaged.

In this episode I share with you, how I dealt with my husband's stress really badly and how I repaired on that occassion. I also share with you why dealing with stress is so important and I go through the Gottman "stress reducing conversation" pointers.

Jul 1, 2021

In this episode, I speak to Emily, who with her partner Sean, created Yum cards for couples. We talk about how these cards help couples reconnect and why reconnecting feels so darn yum! You can check out the cards here

For more go to @nicole_mathieson_coach

Jun 21, 2021

You are not going to get rid of your suffering and that's okay.
We do not need to be wrapped in cotton wool and protected from all the harshness to be okay, which is great, because it would probably be pretty isolating there. We are going to suffer, the trick is to not panic about it. Not to panic about the fear, the anxiety, the sadness, the pain, but to recognise all of these feelings as understandable responses to what is going on for you in the world. 

For more about Nicole go to:

or on Instagram @nicole_mathieson_coach

May 10, 2021

How does the way you look or feel in your body influence your desire? 

Research shows that us women, in general, need to feel ourselves sexy in order to feel desire. We need to feel sexy in our bodies, our minds, our energies and our imaginations first before we can share ourselves.

Does that resonate with you?

Come with me on this podcast journey while I explore this a little.

Find out more about my coaching / counselling and resources at or follow me @nicole_mathieson_coach


Mar 12, 2021

We want certainty in our relationships. We say..."I'll be happy when there is a ring on my finger or we buy that house or we have kids or whatever"

Which makes sense, we are human and certainty feels secure. But the cementing in (the grasping for certainty) is also the very thing creating the stuckness that leads us to resentment and eventually a desire to possibly even leave.

We deserve relationship that feel fluid and free and like we choose to be there.

In this episode I explore with you how to un-cement and create fluidity in our relationships.

follow Nicole on Instagram @nicole_mathieson_coach

Dec 11, 2020

Break ups can be devastating. They are without a doubt big events in our lives. Which is why we need Mackenzie, a break-up specialist.

Mackenzie and I chat about the sometimes rough and tumultuous phase break-ups. She herself has navigated 2 very different break-ups; one toxic and one conscious and shares her wisdom with us.

We chat about:
-her break-up stories and how she navigated them
-how to recognise a narcissist
-the places people get stuck in the break-up process
-the anchor points to help you through to the wisdom and growth on the other side of the pain. 

You can follow Mackenzie here:

For more go to


Oct 12, 2020

So much happens to your relationship and your sex life after you have kids. Everything changes. Your roles, your sex life, how you spend your time, how you see each other and that's not to mention your expectations of each other. It is big!

How do you as a couple, cope with all this change and stress?

It can be super hard. 

Catherine Topham Sly from Insight and Connection in the UK chat about this major relationship challenge in this episode.

You can find Catherine on Insta & FB @insightandconnection or on her website

For more about me, Nicole go to or find me @nicole_mathieson_coach

Sep 11, 2020

This episode comes back to the basics of how to get grounded and centred and calm ourselves down, because you It is super important, especially in our relationships.

What is in your calm-down toolkit?

Connect with me via Instagram -

or drop me an email -



Jul 24, 2020

Following on from Self regulation part 1, this episode explores the "how" of self regulation.

How do you calm and soothe yourself so that you can be more of a rocking partner in your intimate relationships? Listen in to find out.

Drop me an email or find out more at

Jul 23, 2020

Self regulation is sexy.

Learning to calm and soothe yourself in your relationship is a skill that will help bring all the things to your relationship life that you want more of.

In this episode I talk about the consequences of not having the capacity to self regulate. Then in the next episode, part 2, I share the "how".

To get in touch, drop me an email 

Apr 21, 2020

In this episode my colleague Ebony from Little Window counselling comes and interviews me.
Ebony asks me lots of questions about how to manage our relationships in these strange times of Covid19 and lockdown.
We talk about:
-The types of problems that people are having in their relationships
-How to get time to connect
-What to do if you don't feel safe
-How to navigate this time if you are dating
-My top 3 tips for your relationship in lockdown,

For more info go to
or to book an appoitnemnt go to

Mar 27, 2020

Managing anxiety part 2 - Connecting deeper within
How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on?
There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has become more important than ever to skill-up and find ways to soothe our own anxiety.
Let's grab this time as an opportunity to get the skills we need to manage our anxiety.
In part one we look at mindfulness and in part two we look at anchoring in to a deeper part of ourselves.
For more go to

Mar 27, 2020

Managing anxiety part 1 - Mindfulness.
How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on?
There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has become more important than ever to skill upand find ways to soothe our own anxiety.
Let's grab this time as an opportunity to get the skills we need to manage our anxiety.
In part one we look at mindfulness and in part two we look at anchoring in to a deeper part of ourselves.

To learn more go to

Feb 11, 2020

The mental load is a thing and it can cause disconnection in your most important and intimate relationships.
Just this last week, I have personally been struggling with the mental load; feeling resentful, tired and cranky.
I wanted to share how I dealt with the load and what strategies I have put in place to minimise the future build up of resentment.
For more help with the load, check out my online workshop "Release resentment"

Nov 29, 2019

Communication with my husband about anything that mattered used to make me want to run in the other direction.

I would try to say stuff, but I would always say it in all the wrong ways and we would just end up:

  • getting defensive and critical of each other 
  • feeling hurt & misunderstood
  • saying things we wish we hadn't
  • and needing some space to calm down

The good news is, that you can learn skills and concepts that will help your communication and I will teach it all at my online wokshop. Get your ticket


Oct 25, 2019

Katie Dean is a woman who gives us permission to be ourselves;
human. imperfect and messy.
Listen as we chat about;

  • The pressure we put on ourselves
  • Katie's journey with breast implants
  • How to embrace life's messiness

You can find out more about Katie and grab her new book Messy over at
or on her favourite platform, Instagram

Sep 30, 2019

I am back talking to my dear friend and kundalini yoga teacher Sirgun Lindsay German.

Today we are talking about aging gracefully.

What happens to us as women when we are no longer pretty young things? What is our value as an older woman?

How do we handle aging, menopause and growing older with grace?


Sep 20, 2019

A letter to your husband with the reason we are not being intimate aka: having (much) sex.


Hello honey,

I just wanted to write and let you know a few things that I have been pondering about our sex life.

Firstly, I just wanted to acknowledge you. I know that our sex life  is a frustrating area of our relationship for you. I acknowledge that for you, in an ideal world, we would be having sex lots more often. You try really hard to get it right for me, for us and I appreciate it.

I feel for you, I get why you are frustrated and confused and I would love to share more intimate moments with you, which is why we need this chat.

I would love to share with you the reason we are not having much sex.

Do you know why I don’t feel like sex a lot of the time?

I am sure you have pondered this question a lot. Perhaps you have put it down to a variety of conditions such as;

  • Whether you are wearing your lucky undies or not
  • The exact steps and in what order you take in your sexual advances
  • The words you say or whisper into my ear
  • Whether you have done the dishes or not

And sure, all of the above have some input.

I truly hope that you do not put it down to something like me not being attracted to you. I know it can seem like that at times, and to be honest sometimes my head tells me that is the case, but it is not the truth.

The truth of why I sometimes don’t want sex is....

Read on here;

Aug 26, 2019

Does he even care about me?  When I ask for more, then he pulls away from me.

As far as the dance of intimacy goes, this is a common relational pattern.

It goes something like this;

You feel like you need more from your partner. More reassurance, care, love & affection and you need this to be okay.

In fact, your need has become a kind of anxiety.

You want him to scoop you up in your arms and reassure you of his love. 

But when you ask for this, he just pulls further away from you. 

Do you know this dance?

For more:

Jul 26, 2019

 Whenever I am feeling stuck or like I am neck deep in the struggle, there is one thing that always helps - listening to some Abraham Hicks.
 There is something about the way they continually bring the message back to the simple laws of what you focus on you attract - that reminds me of my power and makes it feel that little bit better.
 Which is why I jumped at the chance of interviewing my next guest. Sandi Phillips-Melyer spent nearly a decade travelling with Abraham Hicks's - Esther and Jerry absorbing their wisdom and high vibrations.
 And right enough, Sandi was a beautiful reminder of the laws of love and attraction.
 We talk about;
 - Life with Esther and Jerry on the road
 - The key to life being - to be okay with "not feeling good"
 - How most relationship drama is the thought "I need you to be different so that I can feel better"
 - How every issue we have with other people is the mirror of our own issues
And how every relationship you ever have is designed for you to know more of yourself

Jul 15, 2019

Are your lady parts numb?

How much feeling is down there?

Tamra Mercieca is all about self-love, and she means on every level. Which means that Tamra really encourages us to love, and care for our vaginas.

Tamra is the founder of Getting Naked, and Yoga for the Vagina. She is a Relationship and Self-Love Therapist, and an author.

If the idea of getting back into a state of love with your vagina makes you uncomfortable, then this episode is for you. Tamra talks us trhough some of the health issues and benefits of having a healthy loving relationship down there.

We also talk about; 

  • The relationship with self and its effect on everything
  • The fierceness of boundaries that motherhood brings
  • Having to have strong boundaries with her own mother
  • All the things you can learn from dating

Jul 8, 2019

I had a revelation recently, it was that the western culture of sexuality really didn’t suit me. In fact, I am pretty sure it doesn’t suit a lot of us.

What I am talking about is our sexual narrative that sex always has to have the aim of orgasm.

I see it like a train on the tracks.

Once we get on the sex train – which could be in the form of touching, petting and kissing – it feels like there is only one destination; orgasm station.

Jul 5, 2019

Are you ready for my first interview in 2 years?! Yes? Good!

If your partner were to feed you eggplant for dinner every night, and you didn't like eggplant, you would say something.

Sadly, we don't feel as expressive in the realms of sex and intimacy. We put up with offerings we don't like, year in, year out, and then wonder why we have "lost" our libido.

In my conversation with inter-personal sex therapist Jacqueline Hellyer, we come back often to the food metaphor, particularly eggplant. I love it! I feel that the metaphor really works. You realise how crazily blocked we are around sexual communication.

Jun 24, 2019

I want to talk to you, but I can’t find the words, so I am writing to you instead.
I want you to know that I am thinking of you and us. I know that you may not know this, because there is a chasm between us.
It worries me. We haven’t exactly been very connected lately, have we?
This letter to your husband is generic. It is not a personal letter from me to my husband, but more from every woman to her partner.

Jun 14, 2019

He won’t go to counselling, what should I do?

This is a common tale in the realms of hetero-sexual relationships. The wife wants to go to couple counselling, but the husband does not.

Can it be the other way around? Absolutely it can, but the man not wanting to go, is so common it is worth exploring.

If this is you, I feel for you. This is a horrible situation to be in. You, no doubt, see that your relationship is in trouble and you want to save it by doing the most obvious thing available to you, yet your partner adds insult to injury and refuses. You are left feeling more hopeless than ever about the future of your relationship.

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